I have always had a hard time putting my romantic orientation into words. It doesn’t fit the typical words used to describe. “Pan” doesn’t feel right, I guess “poly” includes it, but dunno. I’m pretty much not attracted to men at all- trans or cis. Cis singlets in general I’m pretty edgy around because trans stuff is so invisible.
But there is one thing that all the people I’ve liked romantically have in common- they’re all members of multiple systems.
Now, of course, I don’t like [i]every[/i] member of [i]every[/i] multiple system. Not even on a friend level. Generally there’s only one person I romantically like in a system (if I like anyone in it), and there’ve been plenty of systems where I haven’t liked anyone (in any sense of the word). I also don’t know if/how physical stuff would come into play as I’ve mostly only known people online. But they do have that in common, although it wouldn’t surprise me if that’s not ALL they have in common.
And there are plenty of reasons that I could think of logically, like how they tend to be more accepting, but they apply to some singlets as well and doesn’t apply to plenty of people in multiple systems. Now, yeah, there isn’t really a word for that- although I suppose I could say I’m “mutli-romantic” (which, of course, soundsa bout the same as “polyromantic” if you don’t know what I mean, although that CAN be a perk). It feels odd defining this by gender because I think I’ve crushed on people of about every gender and assigned sex, but “pan” isn’t right because it doesn’t actually describe who I’m attracted to. It feels weird that attraction is always described by gender. There are so many other things to be attracted to.