Two Spirit

This is something that I don’t have serious right to speak on, intend to ask others who have slightly more right to speak on it once I get up to being able to use tumblr reliably again, but needs to at least be brought up.

Two-Spirit is a term I’ve seen used in the multiple community. I believe it generally refers to two-person multiple systems, hence the “two” in “two-spirit”. Two spirits in one body.

However, this is also a term that’s used by indigenous people of the Americans. When it comes to gender, the case is pretty cut and dry. If you aren’t a native person, and this is more than just having a tiny percentage of blood, don’t use it. Just don’t. Also, while we’re on the subject, don’t wear a headdress, okay?

But when it comes to this… nngh. As I said, this isn’t something I have a right to speak on. I don’t know if two-spirit implies the “person” is a multiple system or if it’s just a gender. If it implies a multiple system, I don’t know if it’s okay for non-native systems to use it (and what about when a member is a native but the rest aren’t?). And even if it’s just a gender, I don’t know if it’s okay for multiple systems to use it. I want to ask other people and will come back when I have more info. But this is at least something that I think needs to be brought up and people need to be aware of the connotations of the term when using it or thinking about using it.

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Another excellent guide to what not to say to multiple systems from Gemini.

“I have complex moods, too!”

Singlets seem to latch onto about any excuse not to accept that different people in a multiple system are, in fact, different people. One that really annoys me is when they insist that they’re complex people or act differently around different people- as if this proves that the multiple system is lying and just pretending that their complexities are different people.

You are a complex person and you probably do act differently around different people and in different situations. You’re a person, and those are things that describes the experiences of a very good number of people.  Including those in multiple systems. Each person in a multiple system is usually just as complex as you are, and acts differently in different situations and around different people- just like you do!

And it’s incredibly patronizing to insist that anyone who would claim to be a multiple system is just doing it to look special or “more complex” than you are.

A problem

A friend of mine who’s part of a multiple system and I were talking and our systems came up. I could be wrong, and hopefully he’ll tell me if I am, but it seems like his system is more or less like mine in the sense that only he is the primary fronter, although he isn’t stuck.

One thing he mentioned was that apparently some people have accused him of forcing the other people in his system not to front and repressing them, rather than it being a mutually agreed upon thing. I wasn’t there for the conversations, so I don’t know exactly what occurred and won’t comment on that. But this is a pretty problematic thing to just assume, especially if the people refuse to hear that this isn’t the case.

Who you are

I was rereading the archives of QuestionableContent (ugh, more like Ablist Content… How many times can they use the word “retarded“?) and came across this strip again. For those who can’t be bothered checking or are visually impaired, this is the situation: Martin’s Anthro-PC (a type of tiny sentient robot) had a virus and they were concerned that he was going to have his memory erased. He didn’t, but what follows is a discussion of whether who you are is defined by your past experiences or your moment-to-moment existence. I suppose the question could also be posed as “does retrograde or anterograde amnesia make you stop being who you are?”.

I suppose in some ways being multiple can put this into a new context. A lot of the people who would come from the back didn’t have much or any memory. Layzar had none. I’ve never been to the back so I don’t know how much they were like themselves there, but they still had distinct personalities, likes, interests, etc. Cogitant ergo sunt and all that.

I’ve heard about memory loss as a common problem for gateway systems (which we may or may not be, dunno). Multiple systems having that debate would be something pretty interesting to see.

Facades

The Zyfron system is working on a Facades project, a project about the facades multiple systems have to put up to be safe in this world. I think this is a really good project, and any multiple system who hasn’t heard of it should check it out and any singlet should read it to get an idea of what damage multiphobia does to us.

My biggest facade is that I don’t have a name, but people expect that the body name is my name. And that’s not much of one because there aren’t many times it comes up in conversation whether or not you have a true name, and I don’t care about being called by the body’s. What I said last time means that I don’t really have much of a problem in this respect, but a LOT of people do and it’s definitely something that I think singlets tend not to think about.

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With everything that’s been going on, I really can’t help but wish that someone else- someone better suited- could deal with this. Maybe it’s messed up to have a lot of selfish reasons to want to get out of the front… But what other reasons are there? The way the system works now it isn’t particularly easy for anyone else to start having a life that they’d like to live as well, or for anyone to feel erased by not having their work acknowledged. There’s not even the possibility for that as long as I’m stuck…

Burnout

(semi crossposted at Binary Subverter)

I took the Burnout Test and got a 91/100.

Score: 81 – 100
You probably have such a significant amount of burnout that you feel limited about the possibility of anything ever changing. Though there is hope and help, it may be difficult for you to see it. Reach out to get assistance from a medical professional or counselor. Be aggressive with stress reduction and stress management techniques.

And this is true, especially the “you feel limited about the possibility of anything ever changing”. Ask my partner. I really do feel like there are no options because I’m so pessimistic that it doesn’t feel like an option.
What’s more disturbing about this is that I think the only things that changed about my answers in a decade is the severity, I’ve probably been 50+ for a decade now. And I’m not even 20. I think I’ve only hit this level of burnout 2 or 3 times in my life, though. I am so thankful my counselor is going to try and get me in every week now.

Why is this relevant here? Because one of the questions is whether or not I feel the need to escape. And I do. And the worst I feel, the more I want to get out of the front. And I can’t help but think if, ironically, that’s why I can’t. Because I don’t want to because I want to- I want to because I feel like it’s the only way to escape everything.

Attracted to members of multiple systems

I have always had a hard time putting my romantic orientation into words. It doesn’t fit the typical words used to describe. “Pan” doesn’t feel right, I guess “poly” includes it, but dunno. I’m pretty much not attracted to men at all- trans or cis. Cis singlets in general I’m pretty edgy around because trans stuff is so invisible.
But there is one thing that all the people I’ve liked romantically have in common- they’re all members of multiple systems.

Now, of course, I don’t like [i]every[/i] member of [i]every[/i] multiple system. Not even on a friend level. Generally there’s only one person I romantically like in a system (if I like anyone in it), and there’ve been plenty of systems where I haven’t liked anyone (in any sense of the word). I also don’t know if/how physical stuff would come into play as I’ve mostly only known people online. But they do have that in common, although it wouldn’t surprise me if that’s not ALL they have in common.

And there are plenty of reasons that I could think of logically, like how they tend to be more accepting, but they apply to some singlets as well and doesn’t apply to plenty of people in multiple systems. Now, yeah, there isn’t really a word for that- although I suppose I could say I’m “mutli-romantic” (which, of course, soundsa bout the same as “polyromantic” if you don’t know what I mean, although that CAN be a perk). It feels odd defining this by gender because I think I’ve crushed on people of about every gender and assigned sex, but “pan” isn’t right because it doesn’t actually describe who I’m attracted to. It feels weird that attraction is always described by gender. There are so many other things to be attracted to.

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On tumblr, multiple system blogged that they use the pronoun ‘they’ in part becauset ehy are plural, even though it can be used in the singular.

Almost every person who blogged afterwards assumes that they’re referring to plurality in gender.